My Story

My journey started just over 3 years ago before the pandemic and isolation. My car accident had left me injured, confused and broken (mentally and physically). I was a student in University at the time and the stress to do well was real. I was in denial that my accident had changed my life at first, even though it had made me do a 180 (literally and figuratively). I took my pain meds and tried to finish the semester best I could and ended up dropping courses, failing another and mildly succeeding in 2 classes. I knew I couldn’t keep going on this way. I needed time to HEAL. The doctors, specialists, therapists etc. appointments were overwhelming. I felt like I was telling my story over and over again, yet no one was hearing me, and nothing was changing. I met an occupational therapist who assessed my situation and suggested meditation to me. She mentioned an app called "Insight Timer" and at the time, I was not extremely open to meditation. I had tried it and felt like it did “nothing for me” but what I didn’t understand at the time was it takes practice and understanding, just like anything else. After a year and half of 0 relief from dealing with my mental and physical barriers, I tried meditation again. I would do it here and there when things got extremely difficult and I began to find it extremely helpful.

In 2020, (when the pandemic hit) I began spending more time meditating on a daily basis and finding it to be a whole new way of life. It helped me stay present in my daily life and has allowed me to discover who this new version of myself was. Someone I began denying since the accident happened. I didn’t like who that person was. They were someone who was always in pain, mentally anxious, depressed, angry and frustrated. That was never who I was before, and it changed how I behaved in my daily life. I knew if I were ever able to accept this new person, I would need to gain understanding of who I was NOW.

So how did I go about it? What kinds of things did I ask myself in order to find out where I needed to be? The first question that seems so simple yet is actually very complex is, “Who am I?”. I studied this for an entire year before really discovering who I now was. I looked at, what I enjoy now vs. what I used to enjoy. What sets my soul on fire when I talk about or do it such as creative writing or creating art. What do I feel passionate about? What could I talk for hours about without getting sick of it? What do I know, or have I experienced, that I could share with others and it bring light to a situation? Well, I’m here now and I know where I need to be. The path I was once on, is no longer the same one I am meant to be on. It took me a long time to come to terms with this because I worked so hard to get where I was but now, I’m working twice as hard to get where I’m supposed to be. This is at no fault of my own, but as a product of circumstance. I want to show others, that they can change their life even after the worst circumstances. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it may be far away right now, but it will shine again and your purpose will reveal itself to you. You just have to keep going. You put so much work into an education or workplace or being a full-time mom but what you really need to invest in is your mental and physical health. You need to find your TRUE SELF. You are not your workplace. You are not your degree and you are not ONLY a parent. You are more than any and all of this. You just need to take some time to figure it out. Time is precious, invest in yourself. Sending you healing, today and always.

-Alexandra Anastasia-